Archive for June, 2008

Life Is Funny

{ June 27, 2008 @ 1:09 am } · { :) }
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I’m just killing time. After 2 weeks of classes, things are getting a little easier. I don’t know whether it’s the fact that some of my teachers are now being absent in our classes or it’s just that my system is getting used to the pressure. =P I’m just sort of making my presence felt right now – trying to accompany my groupmate who volunteered (or sort of like that) to compile the files for our report. Maybe I’ll sleep a little later. I’ve already slept about 2.5 hours earlier because I was not feeling well. Basically, tomorrow(or later) seems to be a light day at school for me. I just wish nothing bad would pop out of nowhere.

I was watching funny babies at youtube a little while ago. I just remembered the one me and my friend watched when I sleptover at her house. It was of a little girl saying “whatever” with all the hand gestures and facial expressions you can imagine from someone like the girls in Clueless. ^_^ She’s really cute and funny. You should also try to watch other videos of babies doing ridiculous and sort of senseless things. It’s like life is but a mere joke for them. I wish I was somehow like that – always smiling, laughing, caring less about my problems and trying to enjoy life to its fullest. *sigh* Life… parang buhay lang.

Love… parang pag-ibig lang.

English… parang Tinatagalog lang.

Thunder

{ June 23, 2008 @ 12:09 pm } · { :( }
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Your voice

was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you’re unlike any other?

You’ll always be my thunder

 

And I said

 

Your eyes

are the brightest of all the colors

I don’t wanna ever love another

You’ll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

And bring on the thunder.

Evil Days

{ June 15, 2008 @ 3:20 am } · { :( }
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*major sigh*

It’s 3:19 in the morning, I haven’t slept. And it would be awkward to do so now because I was supposed to wake up at 4am for our fliering later at school. (Bah! How can anyone wake up when he/she isn’t even asleep!?) Aww… I hate days like these. And considering that it’s just the first week of classes! What’s more is that I still got tons to do and finish by monday. T_T shit, I wanna cry in front of everyone. Maybe I just need someone to pity me, someone who’ll be sad because I am…

I’m really sleepy right now. I thought I could hold on but my eyes are really tired already. I hope I won’t always be like this. Although there are signs telling me that my life (at least my first sem third year) will be an everyday hell starting now. There are so many things in my head that I can’t even face each one properly. I’m sensing I’ll just break down one of these days.

*sigh* sadness again! What the hell!

What Dreams May Come

{ June 11, 2008 @ 12:34 am } · { :) }
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I’m trying to make myself happy. Even though school sucks and many people suck and overall, life sucks. It’s kind of comforting when you know you’re not alone. And after all, everthing will soon just pass by… *sigh*

I want to make a list of specific things that I wanna do. Maybe to keep up with myself (?) and my thoughts and with the hope that someday Santa Claus grants one of my wishes/dreams/wants. Bah…

Number….

1. I wanna treat Susie on her birthday. Or on my birthday. At McDo. Maybe in UST? Nothing, it was a promise I had failed to do for years now. =P

2. I want to have a purikura with someone. I just hope that that someone can find time for me. Happy birthday to you, by the way. (That’s my fourth greeting.) Oops, it’s past twelve na nga pala…

3. I want to go to Japan with my friends someday.

4. I hope when this week ends, I’ve already finished my tasks in my org and etcetera…

5. I wanna have a photoshoot with my barkada. A serious photoshoot. I miss my aunt’s professional camera already.

6. I want to worry less about many things!

7. I wanna have money. Waah… T_T

 

That’s it for now. I really hope that even just one of those would come true. *sigh* That will truly make me happy.

Wounds That Would Never Heal, Scars That Would Never Fade

{ June 5, 2008 @ 9:43 am } · { :) }
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The saying “Forgive and forget” can never be true. It has no capability to be so. For everything has a story, a memory. No one can live with happy memories alone. If that was possible, I think no one would be sad or feeling lonely or angry right now.

A “forgive and forget world” is a fantasy. Like a candy-colored paradise you see in cartoons. In reality, everyone hides a grudge with someone else. There’s some dark spot inside every heart. A weak and fragile piece of one’s soul that was once wounded and that never healed. It’s securely hidden beneath layers of a person’s struggle to be strong – to forget, to heal, to move on. But even if we think we had done so, even if the layers have settled, the soft and unstable part beneath can easily ruin everything with a gentle blow of a wind to it. Shallow wounds or scratches can possibly heal with time but scars are there and they will never fade. Wounds, scars – they are the solid reminders that once in our lives we have failed and we have been failed. And most of the time, we just never find that happiness, that confidence, that trust to expose ourselves once more to the cruel and brutal world. But out of carelessness, out of false hope, people still try again and believe in dreams. Lucky if they find their happiness again. But alas, to most, the scars and the wounds will be there. They will be the constant reminder to our unconscious selves that we have a limit, we have a boundary, we must  be careful and not be too risky. It would take a great effort - a drastic change - for them to suddenly go out of their shells and explore the world outside.

By some light, I hope that someday they could go beyond the limit and realize that they are not alone. We all are hurt and wounded. There is no point in pitying one’s self, in feeling alone and bitter. People will hurt you but you’ve also hurt them at some point you never really knew. It just takes a little will, some compassion, to think of them before you think of yourself. And you may not know it, but the time will come that your goodness will surpass everything, and the light and warmth it emits will reflect back to you.